In the moment, what will you decide?

Metro is a funny thing. Well, really, any public transportation is funny.  My particular mode, happens to be the subway a la metro.  Today I was heading home early from work at FAN so that I could teach a Mad Science class.  On the phone with a friend, I saw a former colleague on the platform.  I knew that we were both going to the same place.  We acknowledged each other by waving, and then continued back in our own worlds-- me on the phone, my colleague, I wasn't sure. 

I knew that I wasn't very excited about the encounter, and my own prejudices shone, as I figured that my colleague didn't want to really interact with me anyways.  Metro trip begins, we're on the same train, and I'm still on the phone.  I see my colleague's head at the other end of our car.  I lose reception as I go into a tunnel, and my call drops. In that moment, I struggled.  I struggled with whether or not I should go and say hello.  Nobody would know, except for me and my colleague.  So why bother? I debated.  And then I realized, that I needed to go say hello.  Because if I didn't, what did all of my relationship building from before mean? Why bother, if I weren't going to follow through. 

As I was walking to work today, I thought about where I am donating my money this month.  And as I thought about it, and where I was going to find that money, I realized that it's much more of a sacrifice when it doesn't come from my excess, from my abundance.  Somehow, it means more when I have to give something else up-- maybe even something necessary.  Perhaps it means that I eat out less this month (ie not at all).  Maybe it's a choice to not go to the movies.  Or to drive less, so that I'm not spending the gas money.  It changes the experience, so that it is one of solidarity with those who have less. 


So what? How are the two connected?

Well.  I think that both involve sacrifice.  It is more of a sacrifice for me to say hello to someone when I don't have to.  Okay, it's not a huge sacrifice, but it was a challenge for me.  I think, truly, that those moments of struggle were much larger steps towards being a peacemaker than the moments that happen while I'm at Little Friends for Peace.  And, the moments where it's actually a challenge to give to others, stretches me more than giving from money that I could do without. 


More thoughts, but I'm off to tutor.  Maybe I'll post twice in a night! If not, catch you all tomorrow.